Inner Beauty

Confidence – a feeling of self-assurance arising from one’s appreciation of one’s own abilities or qualities.

image

image

Why does this definition sound so easy yet is so difficult for many of us? Why does it seem to be particularly hard for those of us who are young women?

I think that part of the reason is that we are constantly being bombarded by images of other people’s best days. Their best moments. Their happiest times. We know the reality of our own lives and can feel as if we don’t measure up, that we aren’t as good, as successful, as smart, and especially…that we aren’t as pretty.

It’s that whole pesky COMPARISON thing.

“Comparison is the death of joy.” Mark Twain

“Personality begins where comparison leaves off. Be unique. Be memorable. Be confident. Be proud.” Shannon Adler

“Women are so unforgiving of themselves. We don’t recognize our own beauty because we’re too busy comparing ourselves to other people.” Kelly Osbourne

How can we overcome the comparison game?

There is so much pressure in this society for girls to look a certain way, to conform to some norm of beauty – a norm that is ever changing, a norm that can make us feel as if we are always missing the mark! We often blame men for putting this pressure on us, but is that really the case?

Some of the pressure comes from within because we lack the confidence to be different than the standard. We lack the confidence to embrace our wild hair or imperfect body or our quirky personalities or our loud laugh.

I also believe that some of it comes because we as women are SO hard on one another. She’s too skinny, she’s gained weight, had some work done…it goes on and on.

Society is already beating us down. Shouldn’t we as women be the biggest cheerleaders of other women who are  different, who are beautiful, who are quirky,  who are smart, who are willing to take a stand?

I have a three year old niece who is the sweetest, most complimentary person I know. She is constantly telling everyone, no matter what shape, age, size, or how they look that day, that they are beautiful. I think that is because she has the childlike ability to see true beauty for what it really is, internal.

This is how I think all of us should be! Let’s stop tearing other women down for the purpose of making ourselves feel better. Take a break from social media. (even fashion blogs if need be!) Shake off the constraints of how the world tells you a woman should look and act. Surround yourself with friends who build you up and make you better. Build others up and make them better. Look for the inner beauty in people rather than only focusing on the external. Remember that the appearance and success of others is not a reflection of your own. Work on loving yourself and growing your own confidence.

Let’s believe in our own beauty no matter what our size or shape because beauty is what comes from the heart, and that is something that can never be taken from you.

image

Top: H&M // Shorts: Free People // Shoes: Old // Earrings: Francesca’s

image

image

“Beauty begins the moment you decide to be yourself.” Coco Chanel

Thanks for stopping by,

XO,

Emily

 

46 thoughts on “Inner Beauty

  1. Very well written and timely. If someone as beautiful as you can get bogged down in the Devil’s comparison game, none of us are immune! You are wiser than your years Emily!

  2. I absolutely love this! Confidence is something that will never go out of style and something everyone will struggle with. The quotes you picked are perfect. Thank you <3

    1. Thank you for your comment Cailyn! I agree! I think every girl at some point in their life has struggled with comparing or not feeling adequate!

  3. What a beautiful post and I couldn’t agree with your thoughts more. We tear ourselves down all of the time and comparison never stops but if we always remind ourselves of that we are unique and beautiful in our own right, we stop with comparing to others at least for the moment. It is so important to remember what truly matters in life and I think that when you do that, you tend to compare less.

    xoxo,
    Brooke | KBStyled

    1. I totally agree Brooke! If I change my mindset and remind myself of these things often, it reminds me to always be confident in who I am!

    1. I do too, Karen! Childlike innocence and kindness is something I wish we could all hold on to for our whole lives! They find such joy in the little things in life.

    1. It definitely is hard, that is why we all need a reminder sometimes! We need to focus on what makes us unique and wonderful instead of focusing on what we don’t have or wish we had 🙂

    1. Thank you!! I agree, I hate seeing young girls feel so insecure about themselves, it is so important at a young age that they know they are unique and beautiful just the way they are!

  4. GREAT post hun – the outfit and the words! It seems your twenties are definitely the decade for continuous self discovery. I’ve made myself a rule to never compare myself to others (no social media stalking!) and it has really helped elimiate that negativity. Also, I’m sure your niece’s compliments are accurate because you always look gorgeous!

    Xo,
    Courtney

    1. I agree! It is so hard as a blogger because we are constantly involved in social media and seeing beautiful pictures. I know that I need this reminder from time to tim…

  5. This post is SO good and definitely something I need to remind myself of often. I’m the worst about comparing myself to others, but something that always helps me is to just try to see the best in people. It may seem like rehearsing the good in others would make us feel bad about ourselves, but it’s just the opposite. When we see the good in others, it helps us to better see the good in us.

    Thanks for this, Emily

    xo, Mae // Mae Amor

    1. I think that is so true! It helps me to see good in other people instead of trying to cut them down so I feel better. Thanks so much for stopping by Mae!

  6. I honestly could not agree with this quote more “Comparison is the death of joy.” Mark Twain because it is my nemesis. I have a hard time NOT comparing myself to others, but sometimes it’s just natural to do it because you wonder what you’re doing wrong or what others are doing better and “more right” but it’s important to stay grounded and just think about what good you do for yourself without comparison. Thanks for sharing this post & your wise words! xx

    1. I think everyone has a hard time not comparing sometimes! I definitely think blogging can make it even harder not to do that too!

  7. a flower doesn’t compete with the other flowers. it just blooms. we need to remember that. excellent sentiment in your post.

  8. I love this post! I think blogging has made me even worse than I used to be. I see gorgeous outfits and skinny women and I want to be them! But at the end of the day, this is me and I need to be happy with it. Thanks for sharing 🙂 xo

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

seven − 1 =