Confidence – a feeling of self-assurance arising from one’s appreciation of one’s own abilities or qualities.
Why does this definition sound so easy yet is so difficult for many of us? Why does it seem to be particularly hard for those of us who are young women?
I think that part of the reason is that we are constantly being bombarded by images of other people’s best days. Their best moments. Their happiest times. We know the reality of our own lives and can feel as if we don’t measure up, that we aren’t as good, as successful, as smart, and especially…that we aren’t as pretty.
It’s that whole pesky COMPARISON thing.
“Comparison is the death of joy.” Mark Twain
“Personality begins where comparison leaves off. Be unique. Be memorable. Be confident. Be proud.” Shannon Adler
“Women are so unforgiving of themselves. We don’t recognize our own beauty because we’re too busy comparing ourselves to other people.” Kelly Osbourne
How can we overcome the comparison game?
There is so much pressure in this society for girls to look a certain way, to conform to some norm of beauty – a norm that is ever changing, a norm that can make us feel as if we are always missing the mark! We often blame men for putting this pressure on us, but is that really the case?
Some of the pressure comes from within because we lack the confidence to be different than the standard. We lack the confidence to embrace our wild hair or imperfect body or our quirky personalities or our loud laugh.
I also believe that some of it comes because we as women are SO hard on one another. She’s too skinny, she’s gained weight, had some work done…it goes on and on.
Society is already beating us down. Shouldn’t we as women be the biggest cheerleaders of other women who are different, who are beautiful, who are quirky, who are smart, who are willing to take a stand?
I have a three year old niece who is the sweetest, most complimentary person I know. She is constantly telling everyone, no matter what shape, age, size, or how they look that day, that they are beautiful. I think that is because she has the childlike ability to see true beauty for what it really is, internal.
This is how I think all of us should be! Let’s stop tearing other women down for the purpose of making ourselves feel better. Take a break from social media. (even fashion blogs if need be!) Shake off the constraints of how the world tells you a woman should look and act. Surround yourself with friends who build you up and make you better. Build others up and make them better. Look for the inner beauty in people rather than only focusing on the external. Remember that the appearance and success of others is not a reflection of your own. Work on loving yourself and growing your own confidence.
Let’s believe in our own beauty no matter what our size or shape because beauty is what comes from the heart, and that is something that can never be taken from you.
“Beauty begins the moment you decide to be yourself.” Coco Chanel
Thanks for stopping by,